The elephant in the room

Why am I perpetually late for work?

I'm not good in the morning, I'll readily admit that. However B, the love of my life, who did me the honour of marrying me a little over two years ago is really really bad. In fact clinically bad.

Imagine (although those young enough might not have to try too hard) staying awake for 36 hours non-stop. You'd be tired, right? You'd be ready for a good nights sleep, wouldn't you? Now imagine someone trying to wake you a couple of hours after you've happily drifted off.
That's B in the morning. Every morning. No exceptions.

B has inherited a genetic condition that's a bit of a nightmare. On one of my genes, and probably on yours too there is a repeating pattern CGT-CGT-CGT- and so on. Your chromosome and mine will have anywhere between five and thirty seven repeats of the CGT motif. More than 50 repetitions will probably be symptomatic. More than 1,000 will show up on birth (with some truly nasty symptoms including a life expectancy measured in years rather than decades, along with severe mental retardation).

B has 500-600 of these repeats. So that explains the hypersomnia, but that's not all. Aside from the essential tremor, the weakness in the muscles in the extremities and the minor gastro-intestinal issues (which can be worked round by not eating red meat, something that B doesn't mind too much but whenever we're not eating together then it's beef for me) B is looking at cataract surgery sometime in the next decade.

But here's the real kicker, if we have a child then there's a 50% chance of it inheriting, and if it does inherit then the number of repeats increases in every generation.

It's the combination of hypersomnia and excessive daytime sleepiness that's the really debilitating thing though. Once B is awake, and has taken the eugeroic (wakefulness inducing stimulant) prescription and it's kicked in B can manage perfectly well. However while the tablets are kicking in, the EDS is still there and falling asleep is a real possibility, and the hypersomnia means that if B does fall asleep it will be for hours.

So far the record is going to bed at 11 pm and waking up the following afternoon at 4 pm, despite the alarm clock for the profoundly hard of hearing (that has a volume scale where 4 is enough to propel me out of the bed inside two seconds and 10 is where it is normally set) having been going for hours.I don't honestly believe that a smoke alarm would wake B, and having seen an oven glove that managed to be cooked on a moderately high heat for six hours (unintentionally, B had a little nap after preparing breakfast, and knocked it onto the hob on the way past), if it had been a tea towel then I dread to think what would have happened.

So, Boss, if you're there, that's why I'm late in again.